Shattered Dreams

Polls have official closed in the Quinceanera of Your Dreams Contest, and I have some bad news: It seems that our efforts to help Stephanie Chavez win the Quinceanera of her dreams were not enough.  Last I checked, at 11pm Pacific Standard time, Stephanie was down more than 600 votes to her rival Abigail Martin.  Things look bleaker than the bleak novel by bleak writer Charles Dickens, Bleak House.

We did not lose for lack of effort.  The Chavez campaign had literally thousands of Craigslist enthusiasts on the its side, plus some helpful press from the powerful Latina blogosphere.  For a moment it even seemed victory was in our grasp after commentor “Patrick” put Stephanie ahead of Abigail in a stunning reversal of 14 year-old fortunes.  And yet, all this was not enough.  How did this happen?

We’ll have to wait for the official results to answer that question.  Perhaps we’ll never know.  However, I think  this google search I did before the end of the contest might shed some light on Abigail’s suspicious come-from-behind victory.  The search term? “Abigail martin” + Craigslist.  The evidence?  Damning:

Abigail Martin is a Craigslist spammer!  So enjoy your ill-gotten Quinceanera pie, Abigail!  May it taste of bile and the tears of the little orphan Stephanie Chavez who now must die much as she was born:  Quinceanera-less, cold, and alone.

NOTE: I realize that Stephanie’s case came to our attention through a piece of Craigslist spam.  This does not change thte fact that ABIGAIL MARTIN IS A VERITBLE CANNERY OF HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE CRAIGSLIST SPAM.